Another family legend - I find this one even more unbelievable!
Do you remember a time when TVs were tubes and had pressed hardboard backs with valves and diodes and and the TV repairman turned up with a soldering iron? I do, our TV was always breaking down.
At the time of the moon landings I was just two years old. Apparently I took the back off the TV and was trying to get into it with the astronauts, or was it that even at such a young age I was a skeptic and never believed the landings took place? It is quite remarkable that I never got electrocuted; I told you I never believed this particular story. Hold on! I'm remembering more: there is a version in which I apparently pulled or pushed the TV over - image of a toddler squashed under a wood vaneered 1960s TV!! How can my family be so cavalier with history? Ah well, there must be some element of truth there.
But it does ring true, it's something I would do - not accepting the reality presented to me, wanting to get inside it and rip it apart and find out what made it tick. No, I didn't become a TV engineer or any other kind of engineer; I wanted to find the truth; I wanted to see all angles before accepting anything as fact or truth.
I did the same thing to God at the age of 15; I kind of ripped him apart . . . philosophically speaking. Thankfully, he's not a Humpty Dumpty character: he didn't need putting back together again.
When people come to God they often want or need something. Oftentimes they don't hang around for the answer; they regularly don't like the answer. They turn away.
Me? I pestered and examined. I watched and I waited. I counted the cost . . . I just wanted truth: pure, absolute and comforting. In God and in the person of Jesus, I found everything I was looking for to my satisfaction.
Part journal, part meditation, part devotion: here, I try to trace the roots of my faith in Jesus, to recapture - from the ground up - the zeal I once had as a young man, to breathe life into old promises, to search for the man I used to be and to become the man God wants me to be, to make sure no words have fallen to the ground, to straighten up my account with God, to regain the years the locust has eaten and finally, to speak what God has given me without any fear of man.
Wednesday, 24 December 2008
Monday, 22 December 2008
Smashing Ashtrays
When I was three - so family legend goes - I wandered around the house smashing every single glass ashtray I could lay my hands on. Even at the age of three I was an anti-smoking protester!
I remember nothing of this, by the way.
My parents gave up smoking 14 years later; so the ashtray strategy didn't work.
That same year I was baptised and the scripture given to me was Zechariah 4:6, "Not by might, nor by power but by my Spirit". It has stuck with me ever since, sometimes as a garland of grace but at other times as a chicken bone in my throat. God knew that beyond my teenage years I would take his purposes and try to achieve them through my own methods and my own strength. I see a little boy running ahead of his father only to fall and graze his knees or was that a rebellious toddler willfully smashing ashtrays? As a man, when I graze my knee or smash ashtrays it is a tad more serious.
I write this remind myself of those words spoken to Zerubabel all those years ago that nothing of any eternal worth is attained by the wisdom of men.
I write this to remind myself of the young zealous man I once was to somehow reignite the passion I used to have.
I write this to you the reader to promise that I won't fill this blog with foam and frippery but only what is honest, true and just. It's my contract with you.
I remember nothing of this, by the way.
My parents gave up smoking 14 years later; so the ashtray strategy didn't work.
That same year I was baptised and the scripture given to me was Zechariah 4:6, "Not by might, nor by power but by my Spirit". It has stuck with me ever since, sometimes as a garland of grace but at other times as a chicken bone in my throat. God knew that beyond my teenage years I would take his purposes and try to achieve them through my own methods and my own strength. I see a little boy running ahead of his father only to fall and graze his knees or was that a rebellious toddler willfully smashing ashtrays? As a man, when I graze my knee or smash ashtrays it is a tad more serious.
I write this remind myself of those words spoken to Zerubabel all those years ago that nothing of any eternal worth is attained by the wisdom of men.
I write this to remind myself of the young zealous man I once was to somehow reignite the passion I used to have.
I write this to you the reader to promise that I won't fill this blog with foam and frippery but only what is honest, true and just. It's my contract with you.
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